It started with the kitchen…

I’m a horrible blogger. Let’s start with that. This is my 5th blog attempt- within 6 years though. I began with xanga, moved to blogspot, over to wordpress, back to blogspot, back to wordpress. Good freakin’ grief. I couldn’t commit. This time, here we go.

My precious fiance bought a house in the beginning of 2010. He let me be in the house hunting process, and when my eyes lit up at the size of the kitchen for one house, we knew. The area we live in is not known for large houses, but rather older, smaller, quaint houses in a cute neighborhood where a lot of younger people/families live. It’s the blessed area of “East Memphis”, where both my parents grew up. You might call us snobs, but we do think it’s great (but let’s not get into my not-so-secret longing for a vintage Midtown porch. I’m more than thrilled with my East Memphis ranch!) Anyway, the kitchen is/was painted in a glossy-and-I-mean-GLOSSY yellow color. It matches the flourescent lighting. Two things that will be changed, that Bobby is more than happy to let me do. (He’s so sweet). I’ve spent months upon months searching for the perfect paint color for the kitchen. I told Bobby it’s my only prerequisite for moving in after the wedding.

No.Luck.

It’s a long story, but this past Thursday I found myself crying on Bobby’s couch while the kitchen walls had 4 streaks of horrid color. I felt like a failure- my lack of finding the perfect paint color stood for every decision I couldn’t make, and the gray, brown, yellow, and bright blue splotches mocked me. Everything seemed wrong in the world, and that little lie that appears out of nowhere kept whispering “you will never get it.” I hate that lie. It attacks on days when I need it the least, and crushes my spirit. It takes a lot for me to try things I’m not sure if I will be good at, and when I make a mistake I want to hide it. It takes a lot out of me, and its harder for me to get back up and try again. (I mean…soccer, color guard, multiple instruments in the band, handbell choir, softball- just to name a few).

I’m an emotional wreck, a volatile wave that overwhelms all that is around. Yet I am encouraged, because the Lord teaches and whispers in my other ear saying “I love you, I made you in my image, you are good.”

Don’t worry, 2 precious men at Ace Hardware after 4 trips found me the perfect paint and gave me a nice discount.

Happy reading blogger world.

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5 thoughts on “It started with the kitchen…

  1. Welcome to the blogosphere! Maybe you’ll be an inspiration for me to actually write, too! I think I might have cried over the paint color in our bedroom the week before our wedding, so you’re in good company! Glad you found a color, heard the truth, and decided to blog about it! =)

  2. I love you Katie! So glad that you joined the Blogger’s World. 🙂 You must look on HGTV.com for some ideas for redoing your Kitchen. I have been in the “redoing” stage ever since we got married. It does not STOP! But just relax and have fun…go to some antique stores, look at other people’s ideas and don’t forget before and after pics!

  3. This is perfect and well-written. Thank you so much for taking time to share! I can’t wait to read more! Your voice is priceless and I’m so excited about your blog!

  4. this is great, KT…come back to it when you feel the volatile wave of lies coming on. we all know that you are a rockstar, so embrace the truth!!! ❤

  5. Thank you for commenting on my blog because I had NO IDEA you had a blog again! I love reading what you have to say 🙂

    You are not along when it comes to tears and paint. We painted our kitchen in the first house 3 times (we painted the WHOLE thing bright yellow, and kept painting it…we were convinced it would dry paler. It dried Yield Sign Yellow and hurt our eyes when we looked at it) and we were only in that house for a year. And our bedroom in that house twice (we chose a color light blue that would have been more appropriate in a 2 year old boy’s room). We learned to not go bold or we, personally, would not like it!

    Thank you for your encouraging words. Beautifully written!

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