worthy calling

Saturday night I had one of those conversations with a friend that gave me fresh perspective and peace. Meredith Pace is known for that, and this conversation was no exception. She has walked with me through some hard decisions the past 3 years and has been patient and encouraging. Mere sees how hard I am on myself and offers me grace. It’s clear that for years I have been trying to find my identity through what I do. In college, I had so many identities that I could easily just cling to the various titles I carried. She gave me a word that I’ve been processing the past few days. Mere pointed out the different things a job could be to people, whether something you do to pay the bills, something you do to create a career out of, or it’s because it’s your calling. Our callings are through the unique gifts God has given us, and if we are living through those, we are obedient and can rest in that. Of course, Mere explained it much better and there was a lot more to this conversation. I have been reflecting and asking God what my calling is, and how to live it out joyfully and willingly. Even if I am still a babysitter and don’t have a 401k, I can still be walking in obedience and living out my calling. I am called to joy, to love, to serve, to teach, to learn- and these can be played out while keeping a sweet 2 year old boy, cleaning my house, being with friends, playing with my nieces, talking to my parents, being in graduate school, etc.

And on that note, one thing I have learned this summer is being a wife is a worthy calling. I’ve realized it’s okay to say no to things because sometimes I really do want to cook dinner for Bobby. I’ve learned I don’t have to keep making plans and filling in the holes of my schedule with dinners or lunches or coffees like I used to, that I find just as much joy goofing off with him doing random things. I find so much grace and freedom in that Bobby and I have never put pressure on each other to be a certain way. I don’t expect him to take out the trash because he is the husband- he just does it. He doesn’t expect me to cook every night or always empty the dishwasher. And we don’t put expectations on each other like planning prayer times or Bible studies or stereotypical spiritual couple activities. Since the pressure isn’t there, it’s so easy to sit in bed and pray, listen to Matt Chandler sermons during dinner because we want to, and share our hearts when we want to. People said marriage would be this way, but since I’m stubborn and get annoyed when people tell me what to expect, I just kind of ignored it. I’ve learned so much about Bobby, this amazing man and giving husband, that it’s not drudgery to “serve” or “submit” or do any of those words I got annoyed at before. Honestly, sometimes I’m not in love with the idea of marriage. It goes against my pride and things that I want to do. Before I met Bobby, I had things to do and places to go- but marrying him was my calling. However, I am in love with Bobby and grace and the Father’s love and goodness. I still have things to do, and now I have the biggest cheerleader who wants to do things with me. It may seem like I’ve given up on certain dreams, other callings or hopes, but I’m still me and I still dream and hope for the same things plus more. Marriage didn’t change my personality, but it is changing my heart and my desires. I can find rest and joy in this calling, and it feels so freeing.

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stress habits

I’ve learned I have some new stress habits since I’ve gotten married. When I feel anxious or worried, I have to DO something- like, weed or rake leaves or paint something. Monday I didn’t have to babysit, so I decided on a whim to repaint the kitchen. If you remember in a previous post, it was a BIG deal trying to find THE kitchen paint color. I don’t know why I made a big deal about it, but I did. At first the kitchen was yellow, which is fine, but after life in yellow and creme colored walls, I needed a break (sorry Mom.) I wasn’t brave enough for a bold color, so I went with Benjamin Moore’s Powell Buff because of how neutral it is, thinking I just need fun accessories. However, I don’t really do fun accessories that much, so the kitchen ended up looking really boring. I also never finished painting the entire thing, so random spots of the kitchen were still yellow.

Then last week, feeling a little down, I decided I wanted a really bright blue and red kitchen. So my kitchen went from this:

to this…

I used Valspar’s Crystal Aqua for this, and its a LOOOOTTT brighter than I thought it would be. I still have moments when I walk in my kitchen and jump, still shocked that I actually did it. However, I haven’t finished part of the kitchen where the washer/dryer are. I had big plans for that area, but until then it’s covered up with a big, yellow bedsheet.

After Monday’s venture, Bobby put me on a painting hiatus for awhile. There’s still a lot of stuff to do in the kitchen, such as fill in that huge blank space of a wall, close in the laundry area, but for now, I’m happy in my bright blue kitchen!

language

Here’s some things I learned about tonight, taken from my assignment list:

Topics
•    Contrastive analysis hypothesis (CAH)

•    Cross-linguistic influence

•    Interlingual and intralingual errors

•    Markedness and universal grammar

•    Interlanguage

•    Fossilization

just in case you wondered what it is I am actually learning through this degree of mine. I am loving it!

On another note, I started going through this series with a precious friend of mine, and I’ve been listening to this one on repeat the past week. Just being honest, I’m not really having the time of my life right now, and Matt hit me where I needed it. Just listen to it, really. It’s so good.

Habakkuk Part 1

mixtape

This morning Bobby made me a CD, full of awesome music like Arcade Fire, Regina Spektor, The Black Keys, The New Pornographers, and more. He used to make me CDs all the time and sometimes they were kind of weird, mainly because he tried to convert me to liking classic country. I couldn’t help but smile when he included this song that I can’t help but loving. I confess I think Marshall Mathers is amazing, despite the crudeness…and language…and other things…(the sex scene in 8 Mile was a little much for me).

 

Also, Bobby loaded Spotify on my computer tonight…it’s a must have people.

a little on music

For anyone who knows me, you know I am a Broadway baby at heart and can listen to fabulous female artists all day. Something about taking voice lessons and years of choir have turned me into the kind of person that immediately raises the eyebrows, pulls from the diaphragm and sings harmony as loud as possible when a good song comes on. I’m not that good or anything, I am definitely best in a choral setting, but I love music I can sing along too. Give me some Ingrid Michaelson, Sara Bareilles, Sandra McCracken, Katie Herzig, Brooke Fraser, Patty Griffin, Over the Rhine, etc. and I am a happy girl. I would say Brandi Carlile but she kind of depresses me sometimes.

I listened to bands in high school, like Dashboard Confession and the All-American Rejects, but secretly drove around listening to Lea Salonga, Sarah Brightman, Susan Egan and other Broadway musicals I had seen, compiled on my selfmade CD titled “I Want to be on Broadway”. Some days you might have caught me learning my sister’s college choir music, attempting the high notes during my first soprano days (which are long, long gone). However, being friends with Meredith C., Karen, Bobby and Joy have opened up new worlds of music. These are the music searchers, which I am not, who introduce me to the stuff I should know already like Ryan Adams, Wilco, or classic rap songs. Thanks to them, I am able to enjoy The Avett Brothers, Mumford & Songs, Local Natives, The Weepies, Matthew Perryman Jones, Jon Foreman, Edward Sharpe & the Magnetic Zeros and other good ones on the mix cds they make that I don’t know the names of.

However, the music that holds a very special place in my heart will always be Hillsong and Waterdeep, especially Enter the Worship Circle. However if you ask Bobby, the music I can’t live without is Ke$ha. This is untrue information, despite the fact we all totally rocked out to her at our wedding. On that note, I used to never EVER listen to the radio or any pop/rap music. This past year I felt like I was missing out on useful information and way behind on the trends (still never caught up), so I started listening to it. I discovered a forgotten love of pop from the 7th grade Britney/98 degrees days. I might have a list of favorite innapropriate singers somewhere, which was featured on my birthday game “Who knows Katie the best?”, but we’ll save that post for later.

Important note: absolutely no country. Ever. None. (sorry Diana) I respect the art but don’t enjoy the twang.

Here’s a little taste of the goodness I enjoy…
this girl is a-ma-zing. She might have been a couple of Disney princesses…and sometimes I might spend an hour on youtube watching everything of her…

one of my college friend group’s song…yeah, we have songs, we’re cool like that

latest love

This post was fun, so definitely to be continued. If I missed anything or should know of anything…let me know 🙂