My sister resurrected her long ignored blog, which has reminded me that I should probably return here. Last I wrote was the beginning of school and getting used to cheesy first grade cheer. And who knew- I’ve changed my tune! I’m loving and embracing things I laughed at mere weeks ago. I thought I loved adults; then I thought middle school; then 4th; but now, I am loving these little itties that freely give hugs and can barely sit still because they are excited about EVERYTHING.
But for some reason, it’s been hard lately. I don’t know how else to elaborate other than it’s just been a personally rough, dry and difficult several weeks for me. When I feel like this, I tend to hide from everything- friends, family, and especially the Lord. Even though my head knows the truth, my heart hides in shame and guilt, like He’s annoyed that that I cry almost everyday and that I watch hours upon hours of TV to forget and cope. A friend encouraged me to embrace the Word by simply reading through Psalms. And I did.
“Therefore let everyone who is godly offer prayer to you at a time when you may be found; surely in the rush of great waters, they shall not reach him.
You are a hiding place for me; you preserve me from trouble; you surround me with shouts of deliverance.”
Psalm 32: 6-7
How sweet that the Lord know my heart so well that when my natural inclination is to hide from the world that He has directed me to hide in HIM. I don’t have to hide under my covers watching Netflix on my phone ignoring phone calls and texts (sorry), but I can hide in Him in the middle of a crazy day, in the middle of a party or driving in my car.
This weekend my college friends had a “pixie” (our version of a friend reunion) to celebrate our friends Brittney and Caleb’s baby (coming soon in just a few weeks!) Weekends like this are bittersweet: sweet because we’re together, bitter because Diana wasn’t there and because I miss more than anything living in community with these girls. I forget how foundational they are to my spiritual life- they were there when my faith was tested and truly built up. It’s hard to think about God sometimes without thinking about them, because they were physically there for so many major moments. These friends taught me to how to fight in the spirit for truth and to run after knowing Jesus better every day.
Weekends like this remind me of how deep the Lord’s love is: time with my husband, praying with my friends, spending short but meaningful time with my in-laws, hearing truth from our friend Greyson’s message today at his Tupelo church, and the deep rest I find in knowing I can literally HIDE myself in God’s arms.